My Sobriety. My Journey.

Years ago I frequently wondered if I would ever be able to LOVE living a sober lifestyle. I’ll be honest, it took a couple years. When I decided to become sober it was quite intimidating, the thought of being around groups and friends without drinking while everyone else was scared me. I wouldn’t be able to do this. Honestly, for about 2 years I isolated myself from these scenarios. I even missed my best friends wedding, still to this day this is something I still feel bad about. I know my best friend has told me time and time again she understood and not to worry, I’ll always feel guilty for it. Thankfully I have a pretty awesome bestie. Now today, there are so many more reason’s I LOVE being sober than reasons I wish I wasn’t.

I NO LONGER GET HUNG OVER. This my friends, is the absolute best. Before, if I consumed alcohol I would end up with a horrible headache, I’d feel like throwing up, and I would be a complete waste. Now days, if I do not feel well, it’s not because I drank alcohol, it’s because my body is actually telling me I am legit sick. I no longer have to feel guilty when I don’t feel well.

MY RELATIONSHIPS ARE GENUINE. This is kind of a tough one to explain. I used to drink so that I could socialize better, I used to think that alcohol made me invisible and that I could talk to anyone about anything. This way of thinking was wrong. It actually made me annoying. It made me not have genuine conversations. Half the time, I wouldn’t even remember the conversations. Today, my the relationships in my life are healthy. I will say, this was probably one of the hardest parts of sobriety to overcome, you literally have to become a new person, and retrain your brain to talk to people. I had to get over some serious social anxiety. I found out that I drank because I truly had a mental illness of social anxiety.

I’M HEALTHY. I eat better than I had for many years. When I would drink I would neglect to eat properly or take care of myself. I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I didn’t eat, I didn’t care if I showered. Alcohol makes you not care about things that a normal healthy person would care about.

I AM A GOOD MOM, AND A GOOD SPOUSE. This is obvious. I am now able to devote my time to being a good mother and spouse.

I CAN DRIVE WHENEVER I WANT. When you drink you shouldn’t drive. I’ll be honest, there were times I did. I regret this very much. Not only could I have killed myself, but I could have killed someone else. When you are drunk you feel invisible. I thought I was. I made a lot of poor choices. Now I do not have to worry about when I drive, because I have a clean head.

I NO LONGER HAVE TO LIE OR MAKE EXCUSES FOR MYSELF. I still do stupid stuff, I still make plenty of mistakes, but I have no reason to lie or hide anything anymore.

Lastly- NO EXPLANATION NEEDED- I LOVE MYSELF.

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