Maybe you are having anxiety because you are overwhelmed with the amount of tasks you do each day, maybe you have a pregnancy test in your hand that you are hesitant to take because you fear that for the 100th time you will get a big fat negative, maybe you are freaked out cause your kid is at a friends house and you’re obsessing if he or she is behaving, and have a freak accident like fall through a window or break a leg on a trampoline…. maybe you are just fearing the unknown.
Well lucky for you, I have managed to develop some pretty sweet tools that are easy, and .FREE.
These are the five .TOOLS. I have taken from 5 years of therapy.
I’m not a therapist, but I’ve seen enough therapists over the years to know what the heck works and what the heck doesn’t.
Fortunately now I have a therapist now that I love, and feel comfortable with, so I won’t be changing therapists anytime soon!
Anyway, first up:
I always thought people were nuts when I would hear about all these oils making everything better…well turns out I was the one who was nuts for thinking these people were nuts. LAVENDER is my go to oil. Get a good quality lavender, put 6-8 drops in your bath, you can also rub on your wrists and temples.
I am also a big fan of the oil blends. One of my favorites is doTERRA peace, not only does it smell amazing, but it can help bring you to peace. I also enjoy ROSE ABSOLUTE, there is something always calming about the smell of a rose.
You can use your oils anytime you see fit. They are generally safe to use.
I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure an little scented oil isn’t going to kill anyone.
Could be wrong though. Never know.
This is one that is easy to do anywhere, anytime. If you are going in for an interview, a doctors appointment, meeting someone for the first time, or heck, meeting someone for the 10,000 time…When you feel your heart racing, when you are feeling dizzy, when you start to clench your teeth. …start counting. Put your hand on your neck, and start counting your pulse.
.One beat at a time.
It might be fast at first, but focus on nothing else but the counting.
.One beat at a time.
3. READ BACKWARDS
Yes. When you can’t sit still, when you feel your leg making unwanted movements, and that heart once again starts racing…pick up your phone, pick up your computer, book, or whatever you may have, and start reading backwards. This quickly takes the focus off your current situation and places it on trying to read backwards.
It is weird, but it does something.
Every. Single. Time.
4. ENVISIONING YOURSELF
This one is tricky sometimes, for the fact that it takes a little more effort than the previous 3. If you are feeling like you are in a moment of vulnerability or feeling anxious about something try envisioning yourself sitting across the table from you or yourself sitting next to you. Put yourself, yes, your OWN shoes. What would you say to yourself?
For example, if I am feeling overwhelmed or anxious about, hmm…lets just say I have to meet someone new for the first time and I am going over the countless list of reasons how I could make myself look like an idiot, I eventually am able to tell myself to .STOP.
If I were to give sitting across the room from myself what advice what would I give?
Well, I’d probably say, you can calm the hell down because you are smart, confident, beautiful and bright, and anyone who meets you would most likely leave happier than when they came.
See…this is the truth. I know it, but for some reason in my mind I can get wrapped up in a whole mess of crazy thoughts for no apparent reason.
SOOOO…. at times I have to force myself to remind myself that I actually have no reason to be panicking, and this works. It works well. You have to practice it until you get good at it.
I saved the best for last, if someone would have told me to practice mindfulness 5 years ago I would have told them to go fly a fricken kite. Come to think of it, I probably did tell a therapist this more than once. Eventually I did give in and bought myself the “Mindfulness for Dummies” book, best book I ever bought.
I assumed mindfulness was meditation, closing my eyes and mumming.
Nope. I was wrong. Pretty typical.
Mindfulness is being present.
Being aware of your surroundings, embracing it, and yes, enjoying the simple moments. For instance, one night I was sitting out on my patio, on facebook or instagram and when I put my phone down I noticed a bird, this bird and I sat and looked at each other for almost 45 minutes until I got up and went inside. During that 45 minutes of watching this bird I listened to the sounds around me, I heard cars driving by, I heard the wind blowing through the trees, I heard birds chirping, kids screaming, but I never took my eye off that bird, I just sat and watched the bird the
After I got up and went inside I thought to myself, “I bet that was my grandma Sandy telling me to put my phone down and give my brain a rest.” That day I needed a rest, I was overwhelmed from the kids, and was trying to plan and do too many things.
Mindfulness is listening to your child when he tells you the same story for the 800th time, and the 800th time actually listening to him, do you ever stop to actually listen to what your kid is trying to tell you? Sometimes it’s actually pretty cool. Do I do this 100% of the time? Absolutely not. Not a chance. I do it when I think about it, the more I practice it, the more I do it.
Another example of practicing mindfulness is when you are having a disagreement with your spouse, do you ever simply sit and listen without thinking of what you are to go respond with? For years all I ever did during an argument was think about what I was going to say next. Now when I am in a disagreement I actually listen, and I listen well. I stay present and mindful. When my spouse is done speaking, I will ask, “are you done?” He now knows when he is done, then it is my turn; I get to speak and he has to keep his pretty little mouth quiet. We practice this. It took about 3 years of practicing it frequently to get good at it. Our disagreements now are usually calm, and thoughtful.
I kid you not, by doing these 5 things, taking my Zoloft everyday- at the same time, and going to 1 monthly therapy session a month, I cannot tell you the last time I had a full blown panic attack. It has been years. I still find myself in moments where I feel like I do not have control, but for the most part I am under control. I am 30, and I feel the best I have ever felt in my whole life. It’s beautiful. It’s true, and it’s REAL.